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I'm Not A Social Butterfly...

Journal Entry: Sun Sep 29, 2013, 8:35 PM

...well, anymore. But I'm not an introvert, either.

Most of my IRL close acquaintances and friends always ask me "Rob, why you work so much? Why don't you go out with us like you used to?" "Man, we used to hoop all the time dude, when are we getting back to the court?"

My response usually consists of "I... just got things to do." And I do. I'm practically at the computer almost 18 hours a day, hacking away at the game. When my wife gets home, I spend a couple hours with her until she goes to sleep, and then I finish up whatever work until I hit the sack. 

Then they'd be the ones to go on how much they hate their job. Actually, its pretty funny: One of my closest dudes has an artistic background in music. He could be killing it in the indie scene even; he's a very talented dude. But man, he's dealing with chick-o-drama, always spending his free time (now on GTA5) playing games or going to the bar, and then have the audacity to go on how much he hate his job. It's like, "My dude, set your priorities... You could've been somewhere already, but you're dickin' around with women all the time, giving you drama, wasting your life away on games and bar time and..." Yeah, it's irritating seeing that from someone I know who has skill but is just wasting it away. 

I mean, I would love to be playing ball with the fellas or binging out on some Street Fighter or something like I used to, but I just can't. They don't "further" what I'm aiming for. 

Sometimes, even other artists approach me and confront me with their issues about why they feel they're not advancing enough, and my input is always the same: "Gotta put time into practice." And they say stuff, like "worrrrd. Yeah, I know that's what I gotta do. Well, I'm going to take this to heart and man, that Final Fantasy XIV is pretty dope, you're gonna get into it?"

And I'm like... O___o

Did they even get the point?

I mean, there's nothing wrong with going out with friends, spending time with family, chillin' with yo' boyfriend or girlfriend, or playing MMOs and even just taking time out to just be lazy (if you work hard). Having a way to fulfill that "relationship" and "me time" void is necessary to having a healthy life. 

But if one is trying to make moves in whatever they want to do, something has to take a backseat. It's called compromise. Don't complain to me about not feeling like you haven't advanced enough if you're not even spending time working towards things you want to advance towards, and rather do things like practicing that game or relationship-building with people you already have a solid relationship with. I still struggle with this, and it's called balance. Balance needs to be managed as best as one can. 

Yeah, it's a difficult. It's challenging. People's feelings may get hurt. You might lose friends. You could waste money on that game you just purchased. But you realize how easier things get (if your goal is to be whatever you want to be) when you put things in their respective place. And if you have big places you want to get to, well, time to start apportioning your time out differently.  

Personally? The role of a freelance artist is a pretty lonely one in a lot of ways (and an independent game developer too, which I'm coming to learn as well). 

(And don't confuse "being social" with being social with other artists and creative _professional_ people in the industry, that's a different thing. I'm talking about being social with those who run the complete opposite of what you're trying to achieve.)

It's either put up, or shut up

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  • Playing: Pokémon Y
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DarwinWatterson3rd Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2017

sorry i fell on the keyboard
Angelic-Alchemist Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014
The start I was looking for this new year
WingDiamond Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I Hear ya!
dv8nathan Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2013  Professional Artist
Wow. Thankyou. I needed that!
Vermin-Star Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2013  Professional General Artist
I needed to read this. Thanks :)
Lemalas Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2013  Student Writer
Wow, this is pretty real. Reminds me to stop playing Mahvel and get a manuscript together so I can actually have a portfolio. 

How'd you jump the gap? What pushed you out of childhood and into responsibility? Have you just always been responsible? 

Maybe it was your wife? Had no idea you were married btw. But yeah, when you're married and become a husband, I guess that would be a pretty big "definitely an adult" indicator. 
OceanwaveII Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It understandable .Well . I.tend to be social with things that boost my own creativity  yeah and when your not doing that ,you feel someone is restricting you from working on it  . also create the social habit of isolating myself on my own work.  With art there a level of obsession required to get it done , frankly you gotta enjoy it . It needlessly subjective meaning require a sense of self/rules/values  to power through and say (I KNOW WHAT I want ) and be happy when you get there(really at the end of the day it what you want , and finding someone else who like it  too ) . If you doing Traditional Chinese fantasy  and the audience want GTA American style  realism , then  that a mismatch of interest. In some cases it better that your are a bit of a loner lol... then you don't feel like your taking something away from someone else, because you were not at that party they went to or whatever . Honestly as much as I would look up techniques to do something I prefer to talking to everyday people who are not artist in the same industry or whatever . Mostly in professional social-hierarchies with artist the ego comes out and then everyone trying to one-up each other who is the greatest artist etc to the end of time , based on whatever personal value/belief  they have (Who the greatest Batman artist ?!). So that can create a negative vibe lol.    This compounded even more so if your working in a Team , now you got (your interest ) + (Group Interest ) + (whatever market your selling to , with kick-starter the fact it self funded is a great thing you know exactly what the audience want and why there buying it ) .compared to adding a publisher investor  and finding a  market demographic/demand on-top of all that. .. anyway that my 2 cents .Don't mind playing games that inspire new ideas  from the play also it almost meditative for me .
Vulgarius45 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"It's either put up or shut up"

Playing: Pokemon Y
Sktchman Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Couldn't agree more. I used to piss and moan about how I'm not as good as you or other deviants I watch. Now I see that I simply don't deserve to be that good. I haven't put the time and effort into being a success, so I don't get success. Its so simple. If I really want it I will drop time wasters and excuses and just go get it. If not, I remain mediocre
TZilla160 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Wow... after reading this, I realize the things I have been failing to do... I have a few manga/comics I want to put out, and have been doing work toward them, but nothing relevant... I've just been doing random sketches...

I'm going to start taking them seriously.. I'm going to make sure these get finished, and out there!

You've been one of the people that inspired me to be a better artist, and now one of the main reasons I am going to get these done.
cjjuzang Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Professional General Artist
Love the statement Bruh! Blessings and Forward thoughts in your life and career goals. Great to read it from someone from MY hometown
Javenqo Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Yea.. Reading this out in its entirety gave me a glimpse into the very things I deal with nowadays. Friends that I used to hang with and literally spend my days on gaming now I no longer can allow for that time to slip me by. I've my priorities set about and simply carry on my business as Work, to get money, then the Arts, then food and everything that follows. 

Folks just don't understand the amount of commitment you have to put into your work in order to be successful. That in turn "hurts" the friendships and such other things surrounding the life.. but to it all I say "Meh, thinks I'll stick to my Arts, thanks"

It doesn't talk back to me, ask me questions nor stress me out. It gives me satisfaction, inspiration and results.

So onwards I say Porter, onwards to an awesome life story you're currently writing out for yourself good sir. Keep up the awesome Inspiration and Hardcore Work homes. We'll be watching :)
DerekB9Aura Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013  Student General Artist
That "other artists telling you about not advancing enough" part of the journal (and that "I Work, Therefore I'm a Loser" journal as well) kinda sounds like an artist's version of that Glengarry Glen Ross film speech where the guy says "If you want to work here, close".

I would also like to bring up a little tidbit from one of my Skype buds saying something along the lines of "Good artists are crappy artists who never quit".

I'm sorry I don't have anything else to add here that could help others out here. Still, with all that said and then some, this here journal entry's officially a fave.
BlackSlashK1D Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is probably the most helpful journal entry I've ever read on DA.....EVER.
Thanks bro, I appreciate you taking the time to share some words of wisdom with people in Internet-Land.
JustinoElArtista Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013  Professional General Artist
I always get a nice, tingly feeling whenever someone puts people in their place, especially when it comes to things like this.  Everyone, without exception, only gets 24 hours in a day.  No more.  No less.  There's never going to be enough time to do everything, so we have to choose how we spend our time.  And as a wise man once said, "You can tell what matters most to someone by how they spend their time."
jenmariedraws Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Student General Artist
Just a quick note - I *always* love your journals.  Thanks for sharing this :)
QuesoGr7 Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Well at least you don't work with a weekly manga magazine.  I heard they get NO free time lol.
gregor-kari Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
hey, I am completely agreeing with you! all the same here. 
I think many people are waiting. just waiting for a perfect moment, the perfect education, somebody who gives them a chance or something.. but there is no perfect moment and no shortcut for success in what you burn for. I often get angry when people say, they also want to improve their skills so much, then they do two or three drawings, see it doesnt work as well as they thought and then toss away the paper. I shouldnt get angry, I know, but I ask myself what do they suppose how my day goes? just doodling around for half an hour and have some beer then?^^ see you around and good luck with your masters of anatomy project - following on facebook!
AriaSupreme Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013
Wow for me its the exact opposite 
Work is takeing away from the internet 
I dont have any online friends anymore :/ i miss useing it
darkspeeds Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Every month, whenever I see an update on your journal - it is definitely one of my highlights on deviantART.

Smart, honest, talented, hard-working and profound.

Thanks for keepin' it real and for continuing to share your pearls of wisdom. And best of luck with the KS project! You deserve it dude. 
InkAJen Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I agree with you wholeheartedly. At least you are doing your talent and skill some justice.  
Leonidas666 Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
GreggAllenArt Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Student General Artist
Thanks, I think it was destiny that I came across this advice. Any advice on not producing art because of comparing yourself to other artists' work? That's another issue I'm having
NixieSeal Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Oh look, you just summed up my life!

Though it's gotten shaken up lately. I used to be able to blow off friends and family so I could draw- and I did it all the time. I even used to blow off my boyfriend when we only had one chance a week to see eachother. But once I had a kid, I no longer had the option to just ignore others' needs so I could further my own goals. I have a lot less time to draw now, so I do even more blowing off friends and family than before. Honestly, I'm lucky if I get to see someone other than my son, hubby and roommate more than once a month.

Thank goodness for online interaction.
shinsengumi77 Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
The anime Bakuman shows this very well.

There is once scene where the two main characters go out to a class reunion party after having spent their lives since they were 15 working tirelessly on making manga.
initially, their old classmates were talking with them about their success and everything, but eventually they tried to ask about other aspects of life and the two main characters realized that they had basically spent zero time doing anything but work on their art, and had no other experiences to convey.  

They then felt extremely isolated and a bit depressed.

But, they also had damn fine manga. ;P
justjakk Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013
18 hours working non stop. That's a very proactive stance dude. I hope you get to that goal you are reaching for. It will feel so good when you get there. 

Keep up the work bro. I wish you the best. 
emummy Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
I'm agreeing with your message, and amongst your artist peers saying so is fine, but showing disdain for friends who play video games or are looking for love is sort of hypocritical from someone who is making a video game he hopes people will play and is already married. That said, I do enjoy your art and prolific output and hope your video game playing friends don't read your dA journal.
Robaato Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I'm not showing disdain at all. I believe you missed the point of the journal or you've read it with some kind of personal bias, I'm unsure. Let me clarify (re-quote) the point here:

"there's nothing wrong with going out with friends, spending time with family, chillin' with yo' boyfriend or girlfriend, or playing MMOs and even just taking time out to just be lazy (if you work hard). Having a way to fulfill that "relationship" and "me time" void is necessary to having a healthy life. But if one is trying to make moves in whatever they want to do, something has to take a backseat. It's called compromise. Don't complain to me about not feeling like you haven't advanced enough if you're not even spending time working towards things you want to advance towards, and rather do things like practicing that game or relationship-building with people you already have a solid relationship with. I still struggle with this, and it's called balance. Balance needs to be managed as best as one can."

Basically, complaining about not getting somewhere without working on it and then wasting your time with things having nothing to do with where you want to go. That is what this journal's about. I'm married, but I worked that goal out years ago (spending time, building a relationship, and mind you, that never ends). Did it with art (Had a 9-5 job, came straight home and didn't stop honing my craft, sleeping for about 4 hours a night and waking up to go to work again, rinse and repeat) and that's why I'm at the level I'm at today. Same with making a game, that's my current goal, so obviously I'm spending a lot of my time doing it. 

I've set my priorities and continue to set them, and if someone feels guilty about what I've said here, then I rest my case. Because the truth hurts. 
emummy Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
I suppose what I was trying to say was: you're making a videogame, this isn't a great way to market it especially towards the people, your watchers who are most likely to want to play it. Every respected artist is known for working hard at their craft, it's sad that some people need to be reminded about it constantly in journals. Respect and I don't feel guilty. Thanks for the response. Get back to Cryamore!
Robaato Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Hey, you expressed a concern, and I've responded to it, s'all. :)

BetaoftheBass Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Student Filmographer
well i am trying to create a network with other professional illustrators, comic book artist or character/concept designers

i am not really getting anywhere but i am trying really hard ...:(

socializing with others can be very hard especially on the internet... but i am not giving up = =
and to me it feels in a way that you are maturing before your friends are like they are still in the early 20s early of going out for drinks instead of thinking of their next movie to their goal
(butthat is just my thought)

i wish you much luck with your friends...:)
chitobein Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013
Well said. Its a constant measure of priorities, day by day, week to week.
Finding real balance in a day, or set of days, is an achievement in and of itself. When you find it, you feel it.
Saetje Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Professional Filmographer
I agree it's important to prioritize, and many people could benefit from laying off the video games!

But balance is definitely key. In my opinion, on other end of the spectrum ARE the people who work too much, not realizing it's bringing them down. Don't work a schedule that's not sustainable for you, physically or mentally. Also, I absolutely hate it when my artist friends intentionally lose out on sleep for too long. That kind of thing will wreck you.
RedWinterwolf Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013
Heh, oh so very guilty-as-charged, m'lud. Currently trying to shuffle priorities and sort out goals myself. Seeing that it's 'not just you' from stuff like this can be a big help, though. 
coreylandis Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013
Haha, must be nice to be an extrovert. Unless I'm dealing with somebody really easygoing or extremely interesting, I find people to be incredibly exhausting. About an hour of socializing is my limit under normal circumstances. Thank goodness I find my wife really interesting.
sarrus Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Good advice as usual. Allocating time is a tremendous deal. I can even appreciate that more and more now I have a child. I'm lucky to get about 5 hours a week to do anything for myself. Makes me feel awful about spending 5 years playing WoW with no art time. The amount of progress I've made in 1 year makes me think where I could be now, all because of one game. So yeah, the best advice is from Rob. Prioritise and don't fuck about.
SlimeKingKtW Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh man, It's like you're preaching to me.  I don't mean that like you're being preachy, I mean...  I just don't allocate my time properly.  It's hard having a long-hour physically/mentally exhausting job.  And after that coming home, I always feel the need to relieve stress with some gaming, because that's how I've always dealt with it.  But I really do need to ration my time more properly.  I have really been trying...  but I've not gotten much done.  No point in giving anything up completely, but spreading the time out a little better, that sounds like a great idea.

Thanks for making me think about this, Robaato.   I respect your work ethic quite passionately.

I really want to get better, but I gotta allocate my time more properly.
galacticpink Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
PS - Totally forgot to mention I've been BOSS this year productivity wise. At least compared to previous years, so I'm actually really proud of myself 8D
galacticpink Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Balance is really hard, definitely agreed! My friends have all been pretty cool with my severe drop in activity time on IM and whatnot, which has allowed me to get a lot more art done. I probably COULD funnel some time from my gaming into my art - and it would probably help me improve faster - but I'm fairly comfortable with where I'm at now split wise. I have been working myself on focusing on what I NEED to do artwise (deadlines, etc), but...

Basically I totally agree with you and I've always felt real friends totally get it (definitely more often than you expect them to, I've noticed)! And I'd definitely rather be drawing than flipping burgers, so there's always that. XD
Y-Phil Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I understand. Even more: I totally agree. I'm self-employed, on computers. When some free time is available, I spend time on computer too. My playground aren't games, even though I did loooog time ago. Nowadays I prefer to experiment things in Poser.
That's life: a long list of choices ;-)
XLRP Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013
lol. I hate be able to relate to this, THAT much. I remember when I had a whole crew of people I ran with.  Now its like I only have 3 people who still know who I am.  As time progressed most of the people I knew stayed with the ladies and had kids.  Now, I only see people I knew from way back, like once every 4 to 6 months.  And its mainly the same conversation. " How do you do it? Its like every time I see you.  You got something new and cool going on." My answer is always "You just got stick to your guns." And keep it moving.  They may not like how things turned out but at least they are aware of what they are doing wrong. Will they stop, NO.  But at least they are aware of it.  If anything I owe it to them,  to keep it moving where they can't.   If anything you do the same keep it moving but every once in a while let your pals know you haven't forgotten about them out here in the struggle.
SencilSketches Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Professional General Artist
Can I assume this is lesson in one of Cryamore's sidequests? That would be so awesome!
Quest Log:
 - Quest 34: The Social Butterfly

My partner left me for this reason, she's become pretty career focused and doesn't have the time for me anymore.
Well, we're both young anyway. There's no point being together if we don't have the funds or time to actually "be together" literally.

Quite sad to admit now that I look back that I haven't done anything in 2013.
I graduated in 2012 thinking I could get somewhere this year, but obviously I'm mistaken. I could've probably done something more about it throughout the year to make it easier to get myself somewhere in the world and it hasn't been until the beginning of September where I started to get serious with my life.

Much disappointed in myself but I've taken some time to reflect on my actions so that no more years will have to be wasted.
One day, I want to be a master of anatomy like you. :D
HughFreeman Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Professional Filmographer
Balance is the name of the game :)
ScottyArtz Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Balance is something I definitely need to work on. I'm a master procrastinator, and when I do work hard, I work on too many projects at once. It gets a little hectic and frustrating. I also feel that I could be working harder than I should, and I also sometimes feel that I'm probably not spending enough time with my friends family as I should.

With that being said, I don't wanna do anything else other than illustrate for a living, even id I struggle with it. It's all about self control and self chastising. The more you work on and discipline yourself the better you balance your time and sanity, lol.
Courtnee-Blackmon Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Professional
I hear you man. I've been telling myself lately " if you haven't or want put the work in then you don't deserve anything not even to complain". You can't really complain if you haven't made strides toward anything. Besides that I think it is just being honest with yourself. The thing that got me to get up off my butt finally was when I was talking to my BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) friend/teacher. I was telling him how I want to be a full time freelance artist to which he simply asked me "What are you doing everyday to move toward that goal?" I remember not saying anything for a whole three or four seconds. It was a simple no BS question, it wasn't BS feel good advice, it was a right here, right now, the truth. I don't think I'd been asked a question like that. Looking back on it, it was the first time I wasn't coddled but made to confront my own inaction. After the three or four seconds, no excuses could be thought up or other crap and I finally sighed and all I could say was "Nothing". A no BS moment.

Do I think I could do better still, heck yeah, but I'm just glad I'm up and moving now. As the saying goes, " Do not be afraid of moving slow. Be afraid of not moving at all"

So next time Robaato ask your friend the same question in all seriousness. What are you doing everyday to move toward that goal?
dragoonx77 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Yeah, I'm like that here lately.
KiKivons Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Professional Artist
I consider myself to be a social loner, therefore homebody by nature/design. I don't mind going out in public with friends, but it's way more satisfying being by myself. My parents used to bug me about never going out with my friends or sleep overs, but now that I'm in my 20's and nothings really changed, they gave up. To me the idea of working by myself is way more appealing than working with a group, but I'm very much capable of doing so.
SuperCaterina Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013
Your avatar fits with what you said! lol
KiKivons Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Professional Artist
:iconkikivons: well you know. . .
MrEdison Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013
Oh gosh, yes!
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